© 2005 Richard Ross. All rights reserved.
Note: You are receiving this email newsletter because you have subscribed. The newsletter is never sent to anyone other than to subscribers, by request. If you have ANY difficulty reading this newsletter or seeing the various graphics, please go to my website and subscribe instead to the Plain Text version. Subscribe and Unsubscribe instructions are located at the end of each issue.
Table of Contents:
1. Checking In
2. 6 Key Principles of Human Awareness - Guest Article by Mary Allen
3. Food For Thought
4. Suggested Resources
===============================================
===============================================
1. Checking In
Greetings and Welcome. I hope you are thriving.
In this newsletter I am including a guest article by an associate of mine, coach Mary Allen. I've been a follower of Mary's wonderful newsletter for some time, and have participated in a number of excellent live interviews she has conducted with famous authors such as Wayne Dyer and David Hawkins. I'm glad she has given me permission to share some of her writing with you. I hope you enjoy it.
===============================================
===============================================
© 2005 Mary Allen. All rights reserved.
SOULFUL CHALLENGE: I invite you to choose one of the 6 Key Principles to consciously focus on during the upcoming week. I've given you ideas for "embracing" some of the principles below. CHOOSE ONE. Notice the impact it has on your life. I'd love to hear about your experiences - mary@lifecoachmary.com
6 Key Human Awareness Principles
1. Be vulnerable; tell the truth at deeper and deeper levels.
I love the idea of being vulnerable and sharing my "truth"…in theory. Personally, I find this challenging, however, as I share more of my "truth" with others, especially those I care about most…it's incredibly liberating to be seen and accepted for who I am. What is your truth? Ask yourself these questions…
What am I feeling?
What am I NOT feeling?
Use these questions as a mantra to constantly check in with yourself, especially when you find yourself stirred emotionally. And, for me, being vulnerable is not just noticing what I am or am not feeling, but more importantly "sharing those feelings" - saying what is most difficult to say, telling my most embarrassing moments, truly revealing myself.
Even more difficult for me is being vulnerable requires me to become aware of the barriers that I create that keep me distant from someone.
* Why is it difficult for me to gaze into another person's eyes for an extended period of time?
* What makes me feel uncomfortable about hugging someone?
* What internal blocks keep me from connecting more fully with another person?
When I can address these questions, as well as truly express the things I don't want to, I feel vulnerable. And, that is very exciting for me. Funny how the things that we are most scared to admit just act as blocks to us really being able to connect with someone else.
Perhaps some important questions to ask ourselves are, "What am I hiding? What don't I want people to know about me? BE VULNERABLE….share one of these questions…AND answers…with a friend or partner.
2. Listen more to others.
How often do we ask a question, then as our partner is answering, feel we MUST RESPOND NOW? So, we jump in, and interrupt them...not allowing our partner to finish. AND, then we start talking...expecting them to now give US their undivided attention?? Then, they jump in wanting to finish...and the vicious cycle continues, while neither person truly "listens" to and "hears" the other. Sound familiar?
Listening takes the pressure off. We often feel like we must always respond. But we don't have to. Just listening is such a gift to the person who is sharing. And, it's easy to hear what the other is saying when we quiet our own dialogue about what comes next and just be.
SOULFUL CHALLENGE: Ask your partner (or friend) a personal question...just focus on listening. Take in 100% of what they are saying. Allow them to speak fully without interruption. Appreciate your partner for their willingness to share their thought or feelings with you. Let go of any thoughts or judgments that show up. When they are finished, thank them for sharing. Refrain from responding.
Notice how your partner feels when they've been able to communicate 100% of their truth. Then switch roles with your partner, and without responding to what they said, answer the same question. Notice how it feels to be "heard."
3. Ask for 100% of what you want 100% of the time; be willing to hear "no"; and look for ways to give and create win-win.
Asking for what you want dramatically increases your chances of getting it. Others can't read your mind, so it's your responsibility to ASK.
People often wait until it's something that they really, really want...then they get all attached to it, and if the other says "no," it's nearly impossible to accept "no" for an answer. Hearing a "no" from someone isn't personal. It's just their choice in the moment.
Honor it. Respect it. Allow others to have their choices. Once you're clear about what you want, and willing to hear "no"…the next step is finding ways to give and create win-win.
Let's say you ask for a raise today. So what if they say no? Now you have a choice. Asking for what we want actually gives us choice, and choice is liberating. If you don't ask, you live in the realm of "what if." If you do ask, you might get what you want.
Sometimes you don't even know what you want until you ask for something and then the whole world opens up. The same is true in
relationships.
4. Take care of yourself; love yourself unconditionally.
This is by far the hardest for many, and in many ways the most important.
How can we expect anyone else in the world to take care of us, if we can't take care of ourselves? How can we expect "yes's" in our world, if we can't say "yes" to ourselves? How can we expect others to find us attractive, if we are not attractive to ourselves?
When you truly take care of yourself, and love yourself unconditionally, you'll more automatically want to HONOR yourself, and your choices. You'll feel that what you have to say IS important and worth sharing. And, you'll want to give yourself the power to act on the choices that serve you best. When we sacrifice for others, we're essentially saying they are more important than my own well-being.
How can you care for yourself even more?
5. Say "no" when you mean "no," "yes" when you mean "yes."
So often I find myself saying "yes" when what would be best for me is a "NO." I'm embarrassed to say, I've dished out lots of "faux yes's" out of obligation, wanting to please others, not wanting to reject another, convenience, or in "indecision." All crummy reasons for saying "yes."
Another important element is to recognize whether we are a "yes person" or a "no person." We all have tendencies. I am a "yes person" and find myself saying "yes" so easily to just about anything. "No" people may find themselves resistant to saying "yes."
SOULFUL CHALLENGE: For the next week, pause briefly before each action or decision, and check in with yourself. CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE…YES or NO? Which action, decision, or choice is best for YOU NOW? Do you want to drop everything for a spousal request? Will choosing that cheesecake serve your highest good? Do you want to join your in-laws for dinner? Challenge yourself to say "no" when you mean "no" and "yes" when you mean "yes." Notice how it feels when you honor the choice that feels best for you.
6. Remember you are always at CHOICE.
This IS the core principle. You ARE ALWAYS at CHOICE. If you say yes, it's a choice. If you say "no," it's a choice. If you succumb to another, it's a choice. Not deciding…is a choice. If you've committed to something…it's a choice to follow through or not. As creatures of habit, it doesn't always feel like we're "choosing" because we're often on autopilot.
(When we go with "autopilot" we're subconsciously choosing to go with a choice we made long ago.) However, it is a choice to let the habitual pattern take precedence, or to "choose" what is truly right for you in the moment now. And, you can always make a new choice at any moment.
How conscious are you of your choices? Where are you saying "yes," when you'd rather say "no"? A couple of my clients chose to embrace this element over the past week. By slowing down and checking in with themselves, they found they made choices that honored their highest good. And, in doing that, felt an enormous sense of personal power and control. Try the Soulful Challenge in #5.
"Choices in Action" - Colleen, Small Business Owner & Coaching Client "This week, the word "choice" was key to many transformed opportunities for me. I often feel that sensation of getting sucked into the current of a situation, and tended to go with the flow, whether or not it was what served me best. Now I think, "You have a choice." This helps me to stop ... refocus ... and take a second to think about whether or not this is the choice I want to make in this moment. I can still go with the flow but now, it’s a conscious choice. Then, rather than life running away with me, I am directing my life and moving it in the direction I want."
By working through keys 1-5, it becomes easier to see that we truly are at choice. The world and life is not happening to us.
Everything we do is choice. When we realize that we truly have "CHOICE," it's liberating. And, so easy to forget.
HAI - Human Awareness Institute - If you are intrigued with the idea of opening your heart more fully, moving past fears around intimacy, healing core relationships, getting beyond issues of body image or packaging, becoming more comfortable with both men and women, and/or would like to learn how to "love" people without necessarily "liking" their behavior, I highly recommend their program. Visit Click Here for more info or attend their one-day workshop call "Pathways to Intimacy." I don't receive anything for the
referral, except the satisfaction of passing along a resource that had a profound impact on me.
. . . . . . inquiry
What gets in the way of fully expressing yourself? .. . . . .
_________________________
For more information on Mary Allen, her newsletter, her coaching, and her programs:
Click Here
===============================================
===============================================
A note from Richard:
If you want more joy in your life, I can help!
I offer individual sessions by telephone across the country and abroad (all over the world), to support you in moving past emotional and physical challenges that are keeping you from being a full expression of who you are. Our sessions will help you release past patterns in a peaceful, gentle way, and create more of what you are most wanting in your life.
To arrange a complimentary consultation Click Here
or call me at (505) 828-3527
.
===============================================
===============================================
"We meet ourselves time and again in a thousand disguises on the path of life."
--- Carl Jung
"Do not abandon trust when your ego thinks things should be different than they are."
--- Wayne Dyer
"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. "
--- Antoine de St. Exupery
===============================================
===============================================
4. Suggested Resources
***************************************************
If You Love Movies, You Are About to Be Inspired AND Entertained!
***************************************************
Finally, a service that's unique and deeply needed.
Stephen Simon, Producer of Somewhere in Time and What Dreams May Come, Producer/Director of Indigo said "Before now, hardly anyone got to see the best movies made each year. Now, by joining The Spiritual Cinema Circle, you'll see movies that will warm your heart, expand your mind, and stir your soul...without leaving home."
The Spiritual Cinema Circle is an affordable way to bring hours of inspiring entertainment into your life each month.
It's fast and easy. Here's how it works:
Each month you receive 3-5 features and shorts on DVD. The movies are personally selected by me and my team. These movies represent the best of spiritual cinema and art.
The movies are new films you're unlikely to see anywhere else.
The DVDs are yours to keep. You don't have to return them. In fact, you're encouraged to share them with friends and family, in order to broaden the worldwide Spiritual Cinema community.
The cost of the service is kept deliberately low, so the maximum number of people can participate. If you join now, you pay the new member rate of only $21 per month instead of the regular $29 fee (plus $2.95 shipping and handling; outside USA $5.95).
There's no risk - you may cancel your membership at any time. And remember, you never have to return any of your DVDs, even if you decide to cancel your membership.
Join the Spiritual Cinema Circle Program NOW and enjoy an inspiring experience month after month.
For More Information Click Here
===============================================
===============================================
I wish you a wonderful, light-filled two weeks! The next issue will be on February 7th.
Much Love,
Richard
(505) 828-3527
(800) 653-4465 - for initial inquiries
===============================================
===============================================
Last, but not least:
Copyright © 2005, all rights reserved. "The Emotional Freedom & Healing News" is published twice monthly. It is mailed on the first and third Monday of every month.
Permission is granted to reproduce, copy or distribute this newsletter (in it's entirety please).
The author of this newsletter is: Richard Ross. Contact me by email at: emotionalfreedom@richardross.com , or by phone at (800) 653-4465 or (505) 828-3527 to arrange a complimentary consultation.
Richard Ross, PO Box 372, Durango, CO 81301
Support a friend! Please forward this newsletter to your friends, associates, and to your personal and professional lists. Your recommendation is how we grow, and the information contained here will help them grow.
© 2005 Richard Ross. All rights reserved.